• Attendance

    August 2012
    M T W T F S S
  • The “Class”

    Avery, Naim, Aaron

  • Subjects

  • Portfolio

August 14, 2012

Went to library and Outpost today. At the library, kids turned in their summer book project. Aaron had one more book to read, so we planned to read one at the library. He picked out a cute one that was a bit hard for him about a fawn who was taken care of by a great dane. But I didn’t hear hardly any of it because AVERY WAS AN ABSOLUTE TERROR ALL DAY. He drove me batshit insane. Awful. He truly put new meaning to the phrase, “Avery ruins EVERYTHING.” I don’t even want to talk about it (partly because it is two days later and  don’t feel particularly well.) But he was awful. The only funny thing was that I saw Susannah and she told me about her friend (who I sort of know) who is having trouble with her youngest kid and always says, “I never should of had her.” Yah. I love that kid, but I know! I just want to shove that down those anti-abortion activists throats. Think people don’t regret having kids and only regret having abortions? I have a few hundred first person accounts that say differently. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid or that you won’t take care of them or even that you resent them. It isn’t even that you wish they were not even born so much, because now you know them and their uniqueness and you can’t imagine a world without them. But it does mean that you recognize that there is a personal limit to how many children you can take and be your best self. And how many you want to support and support at the highest level you can. And it is ridiculous that society pressures you so much to take on more and to make abortion such a big deal. I hear all the time how people are happy with their decision to abort. It is loosing its scarlet letter A and people are admitting it and no one cares anymore except for a fringe group of lunatics. It is not so much that I regret my decision to have Avery. He brings me much joy and challenge (challenge in a good way.) However, I feel that it is hard to make good reproductive decisions when everyone without a uterus has put it into such a ridiculous polticial realm. It has nothing to do with religion or right-to-life, it is about hating and controlling women. How does anyone honestly make an informed choice within that environment. When I was in the “decision-making” weeks with Avery that doctor from Kansas was murdered and I was told I would need a fucking BODYGUARD to escort me to planned parenthood just for a pregnancy test and ultrasound (nothing about an abortion.) It was ridiculous. A very personal decision becomes a political circus. Would I have made a different decision if abortion was not politicized? I honestly have no idea. That would be like asking me where I would be if I were a man or if I were able-bodied. I can’t imagine all the factors that would be different and affect my decision making. But, I did make the best decision I could, I have him now. I love him…and I am happy he is here. We will work it out, Avery and I. It was just refreshing to talk to someone who has those same thoughts and understands that a baby does not instantly make everything wonderful. Sometimes, you struggle long and hard to raise that kid and adapt to the new family dynamics.


Ok, so kids got their free books and coupons for free stuff, went to outpost where they had farm equipment and Aaron made me take a picture of him on every single thing and Avery made me sit in the back of a truck with him for 20 minutes. Aaron made a magic wand, played with Susannah’s kids and Naim got his T-shirt from superhero training. And that was the Outpost for the summer of 2012. See you next year, I suppose!

One Response

  1. […] OutPost (Farm Equipment)/Library (Summer Reading Program) […]

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